Deaths Distractions
Deaths
Distractions
John 14:1-3
“Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe
also in Me. In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would
have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place
for you, I will come again and receive you to myself; that where I am, there
you may be also”
I have never felt a pain like
this before, death is normal. Being absent
from the body means present with the Lord.
Well, that’s if we are believers.
Death is a part of life and there are so many scriptures to comfort
us. My faith makes my love ones
transition acceptable. When a love one
has suffered long in the case of both my siblings and my dad, death was the
ultimate healer. I accepted it, because
I had cherished memories with them. I
had things I could hold on to, their smile, their personalities, even their gifts.
When a person dies in a car accident or perhaps they drown, we call those
untimely deaths. Still we have memories
of them. We are quick to say “it was
just their time”.
I woke up one morning to read a text
that simply said “our sweetheart is now an angel” my granddaughter had passed
away. I could only hold my phone as tears streamed down my face. I had left the hospital only a few hours before,
I was so exhausted I had to go home for rest.
I lay down at 2:30 AM and Makaylah passed away a few hours later. I could not move, frozen by what my eyes had
read. Maykalah had only been born ten
days previous. She weighed 1lb 1 oz, but
God was able and we were hopeful. My
youngest daughter weighed in at 1 lb 9 oz herself so I had already experience
God’s miracle at its best.
I laid my brother to rest just a few
days before she was born, so in my eyes God had sent her to us to be a comfort and fill us with
joy. Surely God knew the devastation I had just suffered; he
sees all and knows all. For ten days I
had felt at peace, God had answered our prayers. We knew how critical her situation was, but
we also knew the power of the God we served. Our God, who can do anything but fail,
ultimately my first response was God had failed us and why? I could not
understand his decision.
God had failed me and I had failed my
child. I was supposed to be by her side
at this, the most difficult experience of her life. My screams and cries, beating on the walls I
turn away from God I didn’t want to seek his face. I literally wanted to just curse God and die.
Grief and guilt had overpowered me. I
paced and cried for hours before God spoke to me. What did God say, “Absence
from the body means present with me”. Really? I blocked the voice I needed to
call my child and I could not. What
could I possibly say to a mom whose child was taken in an instance? Needless to say my child whose child was
gone. My first words were “I’m so sorry I
fell asleep” and her response was “I was waiting for you to call”. Then silence, and I said” I’m on my way”.
When I got there she was on the couch
hugged up with her son, holding on to him and not letting go. I hugged and kissed her and sat at her
feet. Silence for hours, there was
nothing we could do that day but cry.
The pain was unbearable, surreal.
Only the immediate family was there and none of spoke. We had to make arrangement, we needed to go
back the hospital and do paperwork and we couldn’t. The following day we returned to the
hospital, no strength but we did. God
went before us even without an invitation; he propped us up and covered us. Never
seen her look like that before, I had to stand in the gap.
The next day along with my youngest
daughter we walked in a Mortuary. My
second time in three weeks, my brother had just been laid to rest and now
Makaylah Mae. It took all I had to walk
through those doors and even more to walk out.
I did it, it was done. We had a small family gravesite service and a Balloon
Release. We gave her back to her maker and we trusted that her Grandfather and
two Uncles would take care of her and God would take of us.
Death had distracted my faith. I was angry with God. But all things happen for a reason. Our family had experience two deaths that
nearly took our breath away. But God! I was still standing, showing compassion,
being a comforter to my mother and my daughter.
I was laughing and crying at the same time. His word remain true, “I will never leave you
or forsake you”. I had made it on the other side of through.
There are many things that may have you
questioning, doubting and re-evaluating you faith. The Scripture says all you need is a faith
the size of a mustard seed and mountains can be removed. Life has challenges. God has power.
No matter what situations rise up in your life the Word of God can and
will sustain you. Hold fast to your
Faith, Even with my distractions my heart was saying no, my Faith said
yes. We survived and so can you.
Joshua 1:9 New King James Version (NKJV)
9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and
of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
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